This blog is a collection of really cool things. At least, they will seem really cool if you're me. Or, quite possibly, if you're someone who is less cool than me. If you're more cool than me (likely), these things may not get you all that excited, I suppose. You know what... just forget it. Huh? What's that? You don't know if you're cooler than me? Um. I guess just read the things to the left and evaluate how cool you find them to be. Do they seem cool to you? Yes? You sure? Then I guess you're just not as cool as me. Sorry. Look... it's not that big of a deal, okay? No... please. Don't cry. Look, I do lame stuff also. Sometimes. Really not that much, but I mean it does happen... from time to time. I'm not really helping, am I? I think maybe I'll just leave. Take as much time as you need to recover.

I can be reached at mylastnamemyfirstname@hotmail.com

Sun Jun 29

Effective Drunk Driving PSA

I made this.

Fri Jun 27

Dalmations

adamfrucci:

“Hey, look, the truck’s stopping.”

“Did they take us to the park this time?”

“No—it’s a fire. Another horrible fire.”

“What the hell is wrong with these people?”

-From Animal Tales, by Simon Rich, 24-year-old SNL writer

Wed Jun 25
More from the Awesome Tour. Tim and Eric give a presentation about Papa John’s e-mail.

The Tim and Eric Awesome Tour ‘08 introduction video.

I’m praying that these guys come to Toronto next tour.

Mon Jun 23
He makes a lot of excellent points about book drives.
“ I came in about four writers into the process. It’s kind of hard to write a “better” scene than the last writer when the rules are that you can only change 30 percent of each scene or completely change 30 percent of the scenes, per Katzenberg screening. So, for instance, in this scene, the panda comes up a flight of stairs carrying a bucket of water, slips on a banana peel, says something to two geese and does an air guitar. The good news? There can be anything in the bucket. Your mission: make the movie better.
[ … ]
They do this cycle like 30 times and the end result is a movie created over three years by 7 terrified directors and 20 pissed off writers, none of whom get any back end because it’s an “animated” film, therefore no matter how bad it is, it turns like an 8,000 percent profit, and they make another one and another one and another one until Katzenberg is finally dead at the age of 117 because he uses all the money he saves to rejuvinate his body with the blood of poor people who die at the age of 50 because their hearts got clogged while eating Lion King Meals. Dan Harmon, on working as a writer on Kung Fu Panda. (via boringloser)
Fri Jun 20

How to Make Iced Tea

(that magical elixer of dreams, and sometimes nightmares)

Mon Jun 9
I'm an ex-exonym user

I’m sick of referring to countries by names that sound nothing like what the residents of the country call their homeland. Poland isn’t called Poland. It’s called Polska. Germany is Deutschland. Japan is Nihon. There’s no reason why English speakers (and everyone else is the world) can’t call nations by their true names. Some spelling changes may be required (especially in cases where the same letters don’t exist in our alphabet), but that’s no big deal. The point is that we should all be calling countries by the same name.

We’ve come pretty far down the path of assigning (sometimes seemingly arbitrary) names to countries simply to make them easier to pronounce. It’s time to reverse this trend.

Right now I’m thinking this initiative is going to be about as popular as my “the teens are stupid numbers; from now one eleven will be tenty-one, twelve will be tenty-two, thirteen will be tenty-three, etc.” initiative.

Fri May 30
Incredible pictures of one of Earth’s last uncontacted tribes This is the coolest thing I’ve seen in ages and it’s right in line with my sole dream in life. This is a picture of one of earth’s last uncontacted tribes. They live in Brazil and this snapshot was taken by a plane flying overhead (why that doesn’t count as contact… I’m not entirely sure). The plane flew over once and they were all just minding their tribe-business. When it flew over again to take the pictures, they had painted themselves and were ready to fire their bows and arrows at what they probably assumed was some kind of giant bird the sky. Awesome. I’ve said many times that I would give up everything I have in life (sorry, family and girlfriend) to be able to experience the same thing that tribespeople experience when they have first contact with the rest of the world. What a ridiculous experience that would be. I can foresee two ways in which this would happen: 1) aliens abduct me and take me to an awesome planet; 2) I am frozen alive and wake up in the distant, awesome future. Either way, totally awesome and totally worth leaving behind everything in my current life that I know and love. Note: I hate linking to dailymail.co.uk, but they seem to have the best pictures.

Incredible pictures of one of Earth’s last uncontacted tribes

This is the coolest thing I’ve seen in ages and it’s right in line with my sole dream in life. This is a picture of one of earth’s last uncontacted tribes. They live in Brazil and this snapshot was taken by a plane flying overhead (why that doesn’t count as contact… I’m not entirely sure). The plane flew over once and they were all just minding their tribe-business. When it flew over again to take the pictures, they had painted themselves and were ready to fire their bows and arrows at what they probably assumed was some kind of giant bird the sky. Awesome.

I’ve said many times that I would give up everything I have in life (sorry, family and girlfriend) to be able to experience the same thing that tribespeople experience when they have first contact with the rest of the world. What a ridiculous experience that would be.

I can foresee two ways in which this would happen: 1) aliens abduct me and take me to an awesome planet; 2) I am frozen alive and wake up in the distant, awesome future. Either way, totally awesome and totally worth leaving behind everything in my current life that I know and love.

Note: I hate linking to dailymail.co.uk, but they seem to have the best pictures.

Been there.
Been there.